Missing
by dsmith141
Summary: There was always a connection between Spike and Dawn and personally I think that they would make a great couple. Dedicated to Kellog Monkey of live journal in response to their challenge and also my friend Nisha who loves this pairing. This is based on t
1. Please, please forgive me

Author: dsmith141  
Title: Missing  
Rating: M/18/R for mentions of sex, suicide and bad language.  
Summary: There was always a connection between Spike and Dawn and personally I think that they would make a great couple. Dedicated to KellogMonkey of live journal in response to their challenge and also my friend Nisha who loves this pairing. This is based on the song 'Missing' by Evanescence. NOT a songfic. The format of the story is gonna be a bit weird as well. The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easily figured out you clever little people.  
Timeline: Season 6 I'm thinking post smashed but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
Pairings: Spike/Dawn  
Disclaimer: Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing This story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.

Chapter 1

_Please, please forgive me,  
__But I won't be home again.  
__Maybe someday you'll look up,  
__And, barely conscious,  
__you'll say to no one:  
__"Isn't something missing?"_

She stepped over a stray tree root as she passed yet another gravestone in the ever-growing cemeteries of Sunnydale. Her sister had gone out patrolling as soon as she came home from work. Again. Some nights she didn't even come home. _I mean how many vamps have to rise in one night to keep the friggin' slayer from coming home?_ She was spending less and less time at home now. Dawn was worried about her. She knew that she didn't want to be brought back but now she seemed more depressed about it than ever. She was a shell. When she saw her, which was increasingly rare, she saw the huge shadowy bag under her eyes and the emptiness of the abyss in the eyes that once held so much life and laughter.

Dawn rounded the corner and continued down to Spike's crypt. He was her best friend and the only one of the group that she could talk to. She'd been seeing less and less of him since Buffy came back and when she did see him he was covered in bruises and seemed distant. She knew when she saw the look on his face when Buffy had came down the stairs that she would lose him but she just didn't want to let herself believe it.

When she reached the crypt the door was ajar. She pushed it open properly and timidly put her head around the door.

"Spike"

Her voice was quiet. She was scared. It was so dark. Spike always had some candles lit or a lamp on. Her heart race increased. She stepped into the crypt and pulled out a stake. She saw movement over towards the sarcophagus, she couldn't make it out because her eyes hadn't adjusted properly yet. She heard the grunts and groans coming from it.

"Oh God. Spike yes."

Dawn froze at the sound of her sister's voice. Her eyes adjusted and she saw exactly what was happening, the moonlight coming in from the door illuminating the two slightly. Her best friend standing with his naked back to her with her sister's legs wrapped around his waist and her head on his shoulder, eyes closed in pure pleasure. They didn't even notice her presence, they were too wrapped up in each other to care Too busy comforting and loving each other to notice Dawn on the sidelines, as had become the case so often in recent weeks.

She dropped her Stake and ran from the crypt, tears streaming down her face. Buffy knew how Dawn felt about Spike and now, after hearing her say "Spike is a disgusting, evil thing" so many times, she finds out that she's been doing this. So this is why Buffy had been ignoring her, she'd rather be working, or slaying or doing Spike than spend some time with Dawn. She was sick of it. Dawn ran, ignoring all of the vampires rising around her. They kept a safe distance, an emotional teenage girl with that much ancient magical energy inside her is definitely not the best person to try and make your first meal.

She couldn't be mad at Spike, she knew he loved Buffy and he didn't know how Dawn felt about him, or at least she didn't think he did. She still loved the vampire but she'd known she wouldn't be able to have him. She wasn't mad at Buffy for the fact that she was having sex with the person she loved, more for the fact that she had been neglecting her to do it. _And the hypocrisy_._ I mean you can't find him that icky if you're perfectly willing to do the dirty right. _

--

Dawn sat in the abandoned park. It was usually a vampire hotspot but it was deserted tonight. Her sorrow ad emotion must be bleeding into the world around her and affecting the natural order of things. The tears led a searing trail down her face that glittered in the silver light of the full moon. She wept freely until she forgot the world around her. Since Buffy had came back her episodes with Spike had became less and less frequent and it made her sad. She missed him terribly, even when he was there. He was always so lost in his thoughts and he felt empty because of it. His unreciprocated love for Buffy was eating him up more than it should. She felt so ignored, so unwanted. She felt as though she was a burden on her sister and her friends. She wanted to make things better. She felt as though she was causing them all unnecessary worry. _Well they won't have to worry about me for long_.

She stood from her perch on the swing and dried the tears from her cheeks. She walked glumly out of the park and into the shadows of the street, the non-working streetlights a mere ornament at the side of the road.

--

She slipped into the house through the back door, using her key to let herself in. Willow and Tara were out at a magic thing. Willow had agreed to cut back on the magicks so Tara was helping her by taking her to a rehab class. She'd been doing well. They didn't ignore Dawn but they had a lot on their minds with college and stuff. Dawn bolted upstairs and almost ripped her wardrobe door off it's hinges. She stuffed her clothes into a duffle bag and threw in her underwear and toiletries. Dawn didn't have many clothes, she wasn't into that kind of thing like Buffy. She threw the bag over her shoulder and wrote a note to Buffy, leaving it in an envelope on the dining room table. She took her bank card and some money from Buffy's purse and left the house.

She walked down the street and turned the corner without looking back. She had no idea where she was going to go all she knew is it wouldn't be in Sunnydale. She turned the corner and saw a bus pulling into the stand. She walked over and absent mindedly fingered the small trinket around her neck. Buffy had given it to her for her last birthday. She snapped the chain from around her neck and dropped it into the gutter, sobbing lightly. She boarded the bus and looked up as the driver caught her attention.

"Where to miss?"

"Where does this thing go?"

"Here to L.A""One way to LA then please."

She pulled out the card she had in her purse from last time Angel was around. She saw the note on the back. _If you ever need sanctuary from the gang. Forever you're haven. Angel._

"Take me to this street"

"Sure thing. 20 bucks please miss"

Dawn handed over the money and moved to the back of the bus slumping herself in the corner and falling asleep against the window, tears pouring down her cheeks again.

**A/N ok this is the first chapter. It was quite hard to write and is probably crap. Any feedback is welcome but this story should come into it's own by the second or third chapter if everything goes to plan.**


	2. You won't cry for my absence

Author: dsmith141  
Title: Missing  
Rating: M/18/R for mentions of suicide, sex and bad language.  
Summary: There was always a connection between Spike and Dawn and personally I think that they would make a great couple. Dedicated to KellogMonkey of live journal in response to their challenge and also my friend Nisha who loves this pairing. This is based on the song 'Missing' by Evanescence. NOT a songfic. The format of the story is gonna be a bit weird as well. The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easy enough to work out you clever people XD  
Timeline: Season 6 I'm thinking post smashed but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
Pairings: Spike/Dawn  
Disclaimer: Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing This story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.

Chapter 2

_You won't cry for my absence,  
__I know - You forgot me long ago.  
__Am I that unimportant...?  
__Am I so insignificant...?  
__Isn't something missing?  
__Isn't someone missing me? _

Buffy walked back from the crypt at 3AM the next morning. She was still limping slightly from her nights activities. Spike was always rough with her. It's how she needed it. She crossed the threshold and walked into the dining room where she threw her jacket and keys onto the table, knocking a small white envelope onto the floor. She walked over to the envelope and picked it up. In big letters on the front of the letter she saw her name written in capital letters. She recognised Dawn's handwriting. _She must've gone to stay at Janice's at the last minute._ Buffy opened the letter and as she read it her face fell.

_Dear Buffy, by the time you read this I'll be gone. Don't try to find me, it's better for everyone if I just go away. I'm just a burden on you all and you're lives will be a lot easier if I leave. Have a good life. Don't worry about me. You do that too much. I love you. DAWN x_

Buffy fell to the floor and broke into a flood of hysterical tears. It was all her fault. Dawn had found her on the night she came back and had taken care of her and since then she'd just ignored her, forgotten about her. Unless she'd done something wrong, then she'd shout and punish her but other than that Dawn had just been an afterthought.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. She needed to do something, she needed to fix this. She was the slayer and it was her job to fix things. She walked over to the phone and dialled around the houses of Dawn's friends which gained her nothing except for a strong telling off from Janice's mother. She called Angel's number when she found that DAwn's friends were clueless, she needed to give him a heads up and get him to look out for her.

"Hello"

"A-angel?"

"Buffy?"

"Yea it's me. L-Listen Dawn's ran away. If she shows up in LA will you call me?"

"What? When?"

"Tonight. I-I found a note on the table and she's left and isn't coming back."

"Ok. It'll be fine Buffy. I'll keep a look out but she'll come home eventually."

"I hope so"

"me too."

"Thanks Angel"

She put the phone back in the cradle for a moment and then decided to call the gang. She needed as much help as she could get. She called Xander first.

"Hello?" The sleepy voice on the other end reminded her that it was 3 am.

"Hey Xander I'm so sorry for calling this late but it's an emergency. I need you and Anya to get here as soon as possible."

"Buff it's 3 in the morning can't it wait until the morning when I'm awake?"

"Dawn's gone, Xander so no it cannot wait until the morning."

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"I MEAN NOT HERE!"

"Ow sorry pretty obvious there. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you"

She hung up the phone and called Giles who jumped out of his apartment and was at the house in moments, along with Willow and Tara. Xander and Anya arrived moments later. Once she opened the door to Xander and Anya she led them into the living room where the three others were sitting in a solemn silence. The letter sat on a small table in front of them. It had been passed around repeatedly an examined from every angle. Tara and Giles had checked it for magic to ensure it wasn't the work of a demon kidnapper only to come up with nothing. Giles had been upstairs and checked her room to find it cleared of almost everything apart from her journal, schoolbooks and stuffed animals.

Her journal lay beside the letter, open at the pages documenting the past week. She hadn't written anything for today but the past few days showed her feelings of abandonment and neglect. The pages were crinkled in places where her tears had struck them. The words on the page had once again reduced Buffy to her guilty tears which was rapidly followed by depression and anger when she read of how Spike had been neglecting her too. Then her guilt hit her again as she noticed that that was her fault too. Giles was looking sternly at Buffy. He didn't blame her for Dawn's disappearance but he knew that she could've prevented it.

Xander stood enveloped in the awkward silence that threatened to crush them all and finally spoke up. "So what are we gonna do?"

"We have to try and find her" Buffy stared blankly at the Journal. She was curled up in a ball in the corner of the couch now with her knees tucked aainst her chest.

"Where do we start?"

Buffy sighed and gulped as she choked on her tears. She stood, taking upon her the role of the leader. "You and Anya check the Bronze and the Motels, she took money so she might be at one of them. Willow can you go check out the cemeteries with Giles, Tara I need you to stay here in case Angel or Dawn calls. I'll go check out Willy's."

--

Spike was walking through the cemeteries of Sunnydale. He was sick of being used by the slayer. Sick of loving her. Sick of jumping whenever she had an itch. He didn't want to do it any more. He wanted to get her out of his head. He wanted i all to stop. _Tonight was the last time._ A familiar scent played it's way across to him. Strawberries and Cinnamon mixed with Tea. He stalked cautiously over to where the smell was coming from and saw Giles and Willow brandishing stakes.

"What you two doin' out so late?"

"Looking for Dawn. She's ran away"

"Probably ran off to one of her friends' houses"

"Buffy called them all earlier, no one's seen her. She left a note and took all of her stuff. She's gone Spike."

Spike's mood sank. Dawn had left without even saying a word to him. And even worse Buffy hadn't thought to tell him. _I'm the one she chooses to protect the little bit but when she goes missing and really needs protecting she doesn't even let me know there's a problem. _Things with Dawn hadn't been quite the same since Buffy came back, he' spent less and less time with her and he felt awful for it. He thought she'd been ignoring him because Buffy had been telling her to stay away. That was what Dawn had said to him last time they'd been together anyway.A low growl resonated in Spike's chest inaudible to Giles and Willow.

"I'll go do a sweep see if I can get any info out of the Demons. The Key runs off and someone's bound to notice."

"Thanks Spike."

Giles merely nodded his approval to the Vampire's statement. Willow spoke to him like a member of the group but Giles, where he may have softened slightly in his attitude towards the vampire, was still cautious of him.

Spike turned in a blur of leather and disappeared into the shadows. He checked all of the local demon haunts, especially the ones the slayer didn't know about. There were quite a few in the industrial part of the town, where factories and warehouses had become dormant. His search revealed nothing. After pummelling at least 6 bartenders, killing 7 demons, 15 vampires and scaring a load of warlocks and a particularly cowardly vengeance demon he walked back across town to Willy's for a drink. All he'd found out was that some fledgelings had seen a crying teenager running through the cemeteries towards the park. Spike didn't know why she hadn't came to see him but then it strck him. The door had been open when he and Buffy had been having sex. It all made sense. He was sat at the bar on his third glass of whiskey and blood trying to drown away his sorrows and stupididty when Buffy walked through the door.

"This is what you call looking for my sister"

Willy popped up from behind the bar with an ice pack attached to his face. "Oh he looked."

"Damn right I looked. And by rights I shouldn't be considerin' you didn't think to fucking tell me. Had to hear it from the witch. I've got a cell phone you know. But no. I'm good enough to be her protector but when she comes up missing I'm not good enough to look. I get it. Still gave myself a bloody massive headache tryin' though."

"Hold on you can hurt humans?"

"Not without the soddin' chip goin' off. Weren't you listenin' when I said about the headache part? Bollocks to it. I'm goin' home." Spike threw a twenty down on the bar and walked out into the night closely followed by Buffy.

"Do you know why she left? She felt neglected. Ignored…"

"Well too right. From what I heard all you did was shout at the chit and give her the third degree for not eatin' breakfast or not doin' her homework "

"She felt ignored by you too. It's in her diary."

"You read her diary? Christ she'll kill you when she gets back"

"She ran away it's allowed. Anyway that's not the point. You've been ignoring her too. You can't pin all the blame on me."

"Hey you told her she wasn't allowed to see me. She told me. I'm evil and soulless and a danger to her welfare or some shit."

"Well excuse me for not wanting my sister to hang out with Vampires"

"Yea well if I'm so bad how come it's good enough for you?"

"BECAUSE I'M DEAD"

"No you're not. Just because you wish you were doesn't make it true."

"Well why do I feel like it?"

"Because you're moping over the fact that you were brought back and you're refusing to just get on with things. Life's a bitch then you die and then guess what slayer it's all downhill from there. Oh and you wanna know why she ran away? Didn't you notice you left the door open on you're happy little conquests tonight. From what I managed to beat out of some fledgeling she must've seen us."

"What?"

"Yea. She was seen crying and running through the cemeteries towards the park."

"Oh god." Buffy turned and sniffed back her tears. She needed to be held. She needed comfort. She walked over to the riled vampire with tears in her eyes and kissed him. "Tell me you love me"

Spike looked down at her. He was sick of being whipped, sick of jumping every time she asked. "No. I'm going home. Whatever we had. It's over. It's already driven your sister away. Get a hold of yourself and find her."

Spike turned and walked off down the alley leaving Buffy standing outside Willy's. She turned her head to watch the vampire. Anger flared inside her and she raced at him, kicking him in the back. Spike stood and turned into a fist that connected with his jaw. She was like a berserker, kicking, punching, hitting him with whatever would do the most damage. He kept trying to stand just to be thrown to the floor again by another blow from the petite slayer. Finally he lased out with his legs while he was on the floor, taking the slayer to the ground and walking away leaving her crying hysterically in the alley.

--

**A/N: Ok that's chapter two done. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter you guys made me feel really happy about things. More feedback on this one please, again not too sure how good it is. Can't help but think I'm my toughest critic. Chapter 3 soon.**


	3. I know what you do to yourself

Author: dsmith141  
Title: Missing  
Rating: M/18/R for mentions of suicide, sex and naughty words considering it's Spike.  
Summary: There was always a connection between Spike and Dawn and personally I think that they would make a great couple. Dedicated to KellogMonkey of live journal in response to their challenge and also my friend Nisha who loves this pairing. This is based on the song 'Missing' by Evanescence. NOT a songfic. The format of the story is gonna be a bit weird as well. The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easily worked out you clever people.  
Timeline: Season 6 I'm thinking post 'smashed' but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
Pairings: Spike/Dawn  
Disclaimer: Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing This story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.  
A/N: In reply to your review I'm not too sure how this is going to work on the Angel side of things. I'm basically gonna say that Holtz isn't after Angel but Connor has been born and Darla is dead. Anything else logic should be able to work out. I hope. Please tell me if you see a whole in the logic please ask in a review and I'll clarify. Anywho on with the show x.

Chapter 3

_Please, please forgive me,  
__But I won't be home again.  
__I know what you do to yourself,  
__I breathe deep and cry out,  
__"Isn't something missing?  
__Isn't someone missing me?"_

It was two days since Dawn had left and Spike was getting progressively more and more restless. He'd been spending less time sleeping and as soon as the sun set he was out in Sunnyhell killing whatever crossed his path. His nightly kill count had gone up to way past twenty and the demon population appeared to be thinning. How could his sweet bit leave him. He needed to get her back to him, back where she belonged. She needed to know exactly how he felt about her, exactly what he felt when he thought of her. Spike wanted to look into those shining eyes of hers and see his love reflected in them. She made him want to better himself, something no one since Cecile had done.

He rounded the corner of the street to the Magic Box. The Scoobies were having another meeting, this was the first time he'd been invited to one since the incident in the alley with Buffy. Her reaction to him had, if possible, worsened and now she looked at him as though he was a nasty stain on her Prada stilettos. He walked through the door to the shop and was met by Anya's usual chirpy smile, small smiles from the witches and glares of contempt and suspicion from the other three. The watcher wasn't as hostile as the others but he was still wary. Spike could tell he would never forgive or forget his past and that he was still seen as a threat.

He sat on the counter as he usually did and spoke up. After his entrance all except Anya had returned to the state of moping that had encapsulated them since Dawn left. He was sick of it. It had been days since Buffy had found er letter and they still hadn't done anything.

"So what's the deal? Why am I here?"

"We have to find Dawn. If she was going to come back by now she would've. I've kept looking at demon bars for news and she hasn't been at school for a while. Angel hasn't seen her. She could be anywhere. We thought we should get as much help as we could"

Xander looked up from the desk "Don't get too flattered, you're only here because we might need someone to go far away and who better than someone we wanna get rid of."

"Sod off Harris." He glared at Xander. As much as they annoyed him he was relieved that they had finally decided to do something about the situation.

Xander sighed through lack of a comeback worth bothering with, "So Buff where do we look?"

"I dunno, I was thinking maybe a locator spell"

"I'm afraid that isn't possible" Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the spotless lenses. "Due to Dawn being the Key she is magically exempt from the spells. The only way to find her magically is to send one of Glorificus' key chaser demons after her."

"Ok, so a no go on that front."

Spike stood and started pacing, after doing five laps of the room he couldn't stand it any longer. They were still all talk and no action. Something had to be done. "Ok I'm sick of this bollocks. I'm gonna do this the old fashioned way. I'm gonna go look for the bit and I'm gonna find her. You tossers spend as much time as you want thinking and mopin' but I'm gonna get her back." He turned and left the shop as quickly as he came.

Spike walked down the road towards the cemetery car park where he kept his DeSoto. His eyes picked out something shining in the gutter in the distance. _Prob'ly just a bit of some daft gits bumper_. As he got closer to the area where the shine was coming from he spotted it. The light glinted brightly off the silver pendant. He recognised it. Dawn never took it off, especially seeing as Buffy had been spending less and less time with her. This was the only connection she had left with her sister and she'd needed it, especially over the bad summer.

He picked the pendant out of the gutter. It was slightly squashed due to the weak metal and the clasp was broken. He could tell that this had been done by the wearer due to the angle of the dents. He ran his hand slowly over the small dents where her hands had bent the metal and a tear rolled down his face as he remembered their times together. He looked up at the luminous sign above his head and saw the bus stand. _LA. Peaches said he hadn't seen her. I'd best go check it out._ Rounding the final corner Spike clambered into the car and started the engine. It was time to bring his Nibblet home.

_**A/N: so sorry about the short length of the chapter and how long it took for me to update. Writers block and college kinda took over. Next chapter shouldn't take as long. Some chapters will be short but I'm sticking to a strict plot I have written down otyherwise it won't tie in with the song. As always fedback is appreciated XD. love yas x.**_


	4. Even though I'm the sacrifice

**Author:** dsmith141  
**Title:** Missing  
**Rating:** M/18/R for mentions of suicide, sex and naughty words considering it's Spike.  
**Summary:** The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easily worked out you clever people. Season 6 I'm thinking post 'smashed' but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
**Pairings:** Spike/Dawn  
**Disclaimer:** Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing this story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.  
**A/N:** Ok I'm so very very very sorry about the long delay between chapters. The time has come for UCAS applications at college and I've just got my laptop back from the menders. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Also I'm working on the principle that Sunnydale is about an hour and a half away from LA but if anyone has any information to the contrary please tell me. First half is very prosy but its ok, leads up to a more action based chapter than the others. x

Chapter 4

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
__You won't try for me, not now.  
__Though I'd die to know you love me,  
__I'm all alone.  
__Isn't someone missing me?_

The car slipped through the darkened desert outside of Sunnydale with ease. If it hadn't been roaring from the speed the engine was being forced to work it would have been undetectable in the rapidly moving cloud of dust and sand that had surrounded the vehicle. Spike sat at the wheel in silence glaring with a fixated concentration though the dustcloud. The radio was off and he was gripping the steering wheel so hard he feared he might break it. He loosened his grip slightly but kept his concentration on the road ahead.

His focus went unbroken for the first hour of the journey. He was thinking only of Dawn and where she could be. If Angel was clueless then anything could have happened to her. Unless Angelus had came back and was masquerading as the poof to keep himself under wraps. Spike's mind raced with images of Angelus torturing Dawn in all manner of ways. The images in his mind made his blood boil and he gripped the steering wheel still harder. The sound of squeaking was soon followed by a gunshot-like crack as the top of the steering wheel snapped under the strain. Spike growled with a violent frustration and he almost put the accelerator through the floor of the car. The DeSoto roared with a new found energy and leapt forward, speeding along the deserted freeway.

His mind wandered yet again, this time to his own thoughts and feelings towards the innocent young girl who had left so much distress in her wake. She was extremely mature for her age, _suppose that comes from bein' exposed to demons from the cradle_. He saw her as more of a woman and a friend than the others did. To them she was just Buffy's sister. The Key. Created by monks to open portals to alternate dimensions. Even Xander saw her as a child and she was ten times more mature than he was. _Well mos of the time. _He remembered one of their nights before Buffy had died. She'd painted his toenails bright pink and then pouted for an hour when he'd covered it with black. Spike saw Dawn, the person behind the key. The girl she had been and the woman she was becoming. The way her clothing managed to cling to her in all the right places, how her body curved perfectly. Te glint in her eyes when she smiled and the childlike dimples that occasionally graced her cheeks. His foot hit the floor again and he tore down the freeway and into LA, the powerful realisation of his attraction spurring him on. His mind filled with pictures of his perfect Dawn.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dawn was sat in the hotel kitchen slowly eating her cereal, letting her mind wander. Her long brown hair flowed freely down onto the tabletop. Angel was stood in the doorway watching her intently. She was still so upset about having to leave Sunnydale, her family, her friends, her entire life. The impact of what she'd done was finally hitting her. The first few days away had been nothing, it had been like a holiday. But last night was different. Last night it had finally struck home and she'd cried herself to sleep. She'd gone up to bed early in a relatively good mood after an evening of ice cream and movies with Cordelia. The usual girl night in which usually followed emotional turmoil. She'd gone upstairs to bed at nine. She'd had a long day. As she'd opened her bedroom door she'd seen the blank walls, nothing like her room in Sunnydale, and she'd broken down into hysterical floods of tears on the landing. Angel had found her slumped against the wall outside her room, sleeping with her tear-stained cheeks clinging to her hair. She'd woken mere hours later and decided to go back downstairs for something to eat.

The phone rang next to the door. Dawn ignored it and continued staring into her bowl of Cap'n Crunch, which was now saturated with milk and threatening to turn into paste. Angel stepped inside the door and answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Angel it's me. Any sign of Dawn?"

"No Buffy still nothing. I told you if she shows up I'll call."

"Ok. God I'm just so worried. We've searched everywhere in Sunnydale and nothing. None of her friends know where she's gone, she's vanished completely. Are you sure she's not in LA"

"I've had Wesley and Gunn comb every inch of the city, she's not here. She'll turn up Buffy. She just needs some time. Look I've gotta go I'll talk to you soon"

He replaced the phone in the cradle and turned to see the teenager looking up at him.

"Thanks. I'm still not ready to go back. I don't think I'm ever gonna be."

"We need to talk about this Dawn."

"Ok" She turned sadly from her cereal to face the vampire.

"They're really worried about you Dawn. Are you sure you don't wanna call and tell them at least where you are or that you're ok?"

"No I can't. If they think I've died they'll mourn and then deal. If they think there's a chance I'll go back they'll never stop trying to find me."

"Ok. I just hope you know what you're doing. Just know you're welcome here for as long as you like but I think you should at least let them know you're alive."

"I know but I can't."

Angel stood up and started walking out of the kitchen.

"Angel?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks."

He smiled and walked through the door back into the foyer to see Wesley and Gunn leaving to do their nightly patrol of the city. Angel looked up at the clock and sighed. Still only midnight. It was going to be a long night. He went back into the kitchen to warm himself some blood.

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Spike rounded yet another corner and parked the DeSoto in the parking lot opposite to a park. He could sense vamps in the area and needed to blow off some steam. His aggression was building and he was so frustrated he thought he was going to explode. He got out of the car and jumped over the gate. He sensed the vamps at the other side of a group of trees to his right. He stalked through the copse, already in game face. He stepped from behind one of the trees and he saw them, six of them hounding two men wielding medieval looking short swords. He exploded from the cover of the trees and charged at the back of a large, burly vamp, tackling him to the ground and ripping off his head with one swift tug. He rolled forward and stood so he was facing the two men and he vaulted over them, staking the two vamps behind them with ease. While the three remaining vampires came to their senses and realised what was happening another nine charged out through the trees. Spike dove straight into the middle of the new group of vampires, the demon inside him roaring with the release it was getting. The two men dealt with the three demons left facing them while Spike ripped into the enemies facing him, tearing apart anyone within grabbing distance. He was a blur of fury, the caged demon inside him finally allowed to roam free in battle for the first time in years. As the dust from the final vamp settled at his feet he looked around for more only to find the two men looking at him with a cautious unease. He approached them, reigning in his demon.

"Who are you two? Wanna-be slayers?"

"W-Wesly Wyndam Price and th-this is Charles Gunn"

"You're part of Angel's crew?"

"Yes"

"The poofter's soul still about?"

"What?"

"Does Angel still have his soul you soppy wanker?"

"Yes a-as far as I'm aware. He was fine earlier"

Gunn revived himself from his state of shock. "Who the hell are you?"

"Spike"

"As in William the Bloody?"

"Yes"

The two men raised their weapons and moved slowly away from him.

"Oh now come on I've just saved you're arses I'm not gonna fucking eat you. I'm lookin' for the Nibblet, slayers sister. You seen her?"

"N-no. Buffy keeps calling you really didn't need to come out here..." Wesley's cell rang. "Hello"

"Hey Wes it's Dawn"

Spike's vampire hearing picked up her name as loud as though it was him on the phone to her. Taking advantage of the fact that Wesley had lowered his sword Spike quickly moved over and took the phone straight from his hand.

"Nibblet."

"Spike"

"Yea pet it's me. Thank fuck you're alright. Do you have any idea how worried I've been."

"I'm not coming back Spike. Please don't tell them I'm here."

"I'm not going to where are you? Where have you been staying?"

"I'm at Angels. I've been staying here."

"I'm coming over I'll see you in a bit." Spike hung up the phone. "You said she wasn't here" He grabbed Wesley by his lapels, causing the sword to drop from his grasp. He ignored the jolt of pain that racked his brain. "You said you hadn't fucking seen her." Spike threw him into Gunn and ran back to the car, massaging his aching head.


	5. And if I bleed, I'll bleed

Author: dsmith141  
Title: Missing  
Rating: M/18/R for mentions of suicide, sex and naughty words considering it's Spike.  
Summary: The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easily worked out you clever people. Season 6 I'm thinking post 'smashed' but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
Pairings: Spike/Dawn  
Disclaimer: Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing this story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.  
A/N: Now I've had a couple of suggestions through reviews but I'm sorry to say but I'm sticking to my set plot line. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Again I'm really sorry for the delay college is getting on top of me and it's getting ridiculous. x

Chapter 5

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
__Knowing you don't care.  
__And if I sleep just to dream of you  
__I'll wake without you there,  
__Isn't something missing?  
__Isn't something..._

He vaulted back over the gate at the side of the park and hurled himself into the car. He instantly fired up the engine and the Desoto screamed across the city. He took the last corner with a wide power slide which almost sent him spiralling into a bus coming the other way but he controlled the vehicle and screeched to a halt outside the hotel. He erupted from the car and burst through the front doors of the hotel shaking his game face from his features and causing Cordelia to scream as a piece of the front door flew past her head.

At the sound of Cordelia's scream Angel leapt from his office to see Spike storming through the entrance hall towards him.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?"

"Who?"

"DAWN YOU BLOODY GREAT POOF"

"I already told Buffy she wasn't here"

"I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH HER YOU SOPPY WANKER"

"What?"

"I ran into watcher boy out there and heard her on his cell! Decided I'd come pay her a visit"

"Spike what are you doing here?" Dawn cautiously walked down the stairs.

Spike was on her in a second, his arms enveloped her end held her tightly against his chest. "Christ, Nibblet do you realise how worried I've been."

She looked up to him and smirked "If it's anything less than lots I'm gonna stake you"

He couldn't help but smile at the young girl still in his arms "You can never imagine"

"I bet I can. About half as much as I missed you" She hugged him tightly as a few tears trickled lightly down her cheek.

Angel was standing next to Cordelia assessing the situation in the same way he usually saw things according to Spike. The bond between the two had always been strong whether it was one of resentment or love. He saw the love his childe held for Dawn and also that he had assigned himself as the girl's protector.

Cordelia looked up at Angel. "Can I stake him now?"

"No. Leave them"

"But Angel, he's evil."

"He's got a chip and besides I know he won't hurt her, he loves her."

Spike's hearing picked up the conversation from the other side of the room and without breaking their embrace he shouted over to the two. "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said 'bout me. But we'll have no whispering at the back eh?"

At Angel's comment Cordelia had gasped. "She's 15. We can't let him do this."

Spike growled and wheeled around. "Do what exactly? What exactly do you think I'm gonna do? What makes you think the Bit even wants me? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SPOILED LITTLE BITCH?"

Cordelia walked over to the game-faced Spike and spoke to him with pure venom on her tongue "I know that Dawn would have to be insane to feel ANYTHING for you."

Dawn lowered her head from her position on the stairs. "Then I guess that makes me insane then."

Cordelia whipped her head round to face the young girl. "Oh god, Dawn. Why?"

"He takes care of me. He treats me like an adult and not a child."

"He's in love with your sister"

"Pffft, not bloody likely. After the way she treated me I saw what it really was. There was no love there just a sick fantasy that some vampires have, sleeping with the enemy and all that. And through all that shit I really missed Dawn, problem was Buffy wasn't giving me any time to see the bit."

"I-I thought u were just ignoring me, you know cause of the Buffy thing."

"No pet. I always wanted to spend time with you. Slayer hounded me. No time to myself."

"Oh my GOD. You make me sick! Dawn you can't seriously be falling for this crap."

Angel raised his head from facing the floor. "Cordelia go home."

"Angel you can't be allowing this"

"Go"

"Angel"

CORDELIA. Just go home ok."

Cordelia screamed in frustration and stormed out of the hotel with her bag swinging wildly from her shoulder.

"Spike, we need to talk. Dawn can you give us a minute"

"Yea sure"

"I'll be up to see you in a minute pet."

Gunn and Wesley walked through the door, both of them carrying a look of confusion. "Hey we just saw Cordie stormin' outta here? What's the deal?"

"We'll talk about it tomorrow guys. I sent Cordie home for the night. You guys can head home too if you want. Fred's with Lorne."

"Well we'll see you tomorrow, come on Wes I need a drink"

"Spike, office. Now"

The two of them walked back from the foyer into the office behind the desk.

"She's not going back to Sunnydale."

Spike gave a quiet breathe of laughter "I thought as much. I just wanted to know she was ok. Saw her necklace lying next to the bus stand so I followed the trail."

"Why are you here Spike?"

"Like I said. Wanted to know the bit was safe. Heard you hadn't seen her and when the trail led here I thought something was up."

"I know that I mean if you're not here to take her back why exactly ARE you here?"

"The scoobies are just sittin' around mopin' and not doin' anythin'. Decided it was time for action so looked the old fashioned way"

"What like when we couldn't find that girl in Poland"

Spike chuckled at the memory "Yea a bit like that only with less of a bloodbath, although I did help your guys out in the park there. Think they got about 3 of the 15 vamps that attacked them"

Angel smiled at his childe. It had been so long since they'd been able to talk like this, as friends. He knew Spike hated him but every once in a while he could lay aside the past and be as they once had been. "Thanks I'm sure they're very grateful"

"Like hell, shoved swords in my face as soon as they realised they were the only two things within 100 metres that was alive"

Angel snorted "Well you can be a bit forward and intimidating to them when you're in game face. Need I remind you about London 1886?"

"Oh Christ I was practically a fledgling back then."

"So what's with this thing with Dawnie and did I here that the thing with Buffy was over?"

"Yea. Slayer just used me and it stopped bein' fun. Realised I hadn't seen the Nibblet in a while and it hurt like hell. Missed her like crazy"

Angel saw the fondness in Spike's eyes whenever Dawn's name was mentioned and sighed slightly while he smiled, "You really love her don't you?"

"Not sure yet but I think I might"

"God William what is it with you and Summers women?"

Spike laughed a little and looked up at his Sire "I dunno. They'll be the bloody death of me."

Angel walked over towards him "well you better go upstairs and tell her that. Don't worry about everyone else. They won't bother you. Well Cordelia might but everyone else'll be fine"

"What I'm not gonna get the if-you-hurt-her-you'll-get-torn-limb-from-limb-between-two-stallions-speech?"

"I thought that went without saying. Oh and we use cars now, not horses"

Spike snorted again and left the office. He trudged slowly up the stairs contemplating what he was going to say to Dawn. He crossed the landing and turned the corner to be faced with an open door. He knocked on the door frame.

"It's open for a reason"

"I still need a spoken invitation pet."

Dawn emerged from the bathroom wearing her pyjamas, "Come on in Spike."

"Thanks pet. It's a bit late I would've thought you'd be asleep?"

"I tried but it kinda didn't work. Came up to bed but broke down in tears outside the door until I slept. It just hit me all at once. I don't miss everyone yet but the idea that I'm not going back kinda upset me."

"You're not going back?"

"Is that why you're here?"

"No. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I missed you. Got me right worried you did."

"Sorry. But I was just in the way. If everyone just thinks I'm dead they'll mourn and deal you know. If they think I'm coming back they'll never stop trying to make me"

Spike looked over at her. Her eyes were glistening with more tears. "It's ok bit. Just as long as you don't mind me staying here with you that is."

Dawns head snapped up, "You're staying?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

She leapt across the bed and hugged him so tightly that he feared his ribs would break. "Bloody good job I don't need to breathe Nibblet"

"Oops sorry."

"It's ok pet"

Dawn relinquished her death-grip on the vampire and backed away. "I'm sorry I'm just so happy you're staying. I missed you so much."

"I know pet I know. Just get some sleep ok?"

"Ok." She clambered into bed and paused for a minute "Spike?"

Spike turned in the doorway "Yea pet?"

"Did you mean it? What you said downstairs?"

"Every word pet. I love you."

"I love you too." Spike turned to go and Dawn's heart fell, "Spike?"

"Yea bit?"

"Can you stay here? At least until I fall asleep?"

"Not sure Angel would like that too much pet."

"I don't care. Please Spike."

Spike smiled slightly "ok pet." He crossed the room and smirked at her "No funny business mind."

Dawn giggled and returned his smirk "Wouldn't dream of it" As he sat down on the bed to lie next to her she quickly pinched his bum and rolled over, giggling even more.

Spike let out a small breathe of laughter and lay beside her "now now we'll have none of that or I'll have to resort to drastic measures"

Dawn rolled to face the vampire, leaning up on her elbow, "oh really. Such as?"

Spike smirked "This." He pounced on the giggling teen and tickled her mercilessly as she writhed beneath him, screaming with laughter. She grabbed hold of his shoulders and pulled herself up towards him to try and escape his fingers and as she opened her eyes she found herself face to face with her attacker, smiling as though he was living. She smiled at him and he stopped tickling her. She reached her face up and kissed him gently before lowering herself back down onto the bed.

"Goodnight Spike." Dawn rolled over with a smile on her face and drifted off into a gentle sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike walked back into the lobby of the hotel. It had been a week since he'd arrived in LA and since then he and Dawn had grown closer and closer. She'd become accustomed to having him sleep in her bed and now she couldn't sleep if he wasn't there. He regularly went out to patrol with Gunn and Wesley and when he got back she was always there, waiting for him with a smile on her face. He strode across the lobby to see her coming down the stairs wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts.

"Hey."

"Hey bit. You're wearin' my clothes now?"

"It's warm. And besides it smells like you."

Spike walked over to her and held her close to his chest. He'd became happy with what life they had in LA and didn't want to mess it up but he knew it was time for them to return to Sunnydale whether he wanted it or not. "Pet we need to talk."

Dawn looked up at Spike slightly worried "What is it?"

"I know you don't want to but we need to go back to Sunnydale. If only to get the rest of our stuff and leave."

"What about Buffy?"

"We don't need to talk to her if you don't want to. But you should probably say something. At least to say you're alive and so they know you're OK"

"But they won't let me leave again."

"They won't be able to stop us pet. I promise. If you want to leave again we'll leave. I promise you. I won't make you do anything you don't want to and I won't let anyone else either"

Dawn looked up at him. She knew he meant what he said. She also knew she needed the rest of her stuff. She really didn't want to have to confront her friends back home but she knew it's what she needed to do if she was going to be able to start again. She needed to do it now.

"Ok. Can we go now? I wanna get it over with as quickly as possible."

Spike sighed in relief and smiled slightly at the young girl. "I'll start the car. You go get dressed."

Dawn trawled her way back up the stairs as Spike walked out the door and got into the DeSoto.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car pulled up outside the magic box. It was 2am when the pair had arrived back in Sunnydale so they'd stayed at Spike's crypt until the morning. Dawn exhaled loudly, calming herself. This was it. The moment she'd been dreading for weeks. Deep down she'd known it would happen. The two got out of the Desoto and Spike immediately dove into the shadows of the sidewalk.

"You ready bit?"

"I suppose"

Spike bent down and gave her a quick kiss leaving her lips tingling as he stepped towards the door and opened it leading her in. He closed the door behind them and they stood on the threshold. The gang were there, staring up at them. Buffy stood there, dumbstruck.

"Dawnie?"

"Yea."

Buffy ran over to the young girl and hugged her tightly, tears running down her face. "Oh god Dawn where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I was."

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't take it anymore. I just get in the way and cause problems."

Willow looked over and walked towards the pair, "Dawnie you know that's not true."

"It is. I get kidnapped like every three days and you guys have got enough to worry about without me getting in the way"

Buffy broke away from Dawn and looked over to her as Dawn and Spike crossed the room and stood in front of the counter with the gang gathered around them. Dawn looked around at them all. "I've got something to tell you guys. Spike and I are together. I know you probably don't like it but that's how it is."

The gang looked over at the two, completely taken aback. Buffy and Xander both stood and walked over with hostility.

"You bastard!" Xander was just about to raise his fist when a flash of metal crossed the space in front of them. Dawn was standing in front of Spike swinging a battleaxe which she'd taken from on top of the counter.

"Get the hell away from him"

Buffy looked down at her, "Dawnie why?"

"He's the only one who doesn't treat me like a child and the only one who cared enough to come and look for me and most importantly I love him."

"But Dawn he's evil!"

"That didn't stop you though did it Buffy." Dawn looked up at her sister and found herself shouting with tears pouring down her face, "IT DIDN't STOP YOU FROM SHYING ME AWAY FROM HIM SO I WOULDN'T SEE YOU STEALING AWAY THE ONLY REAL FRIEND I HAVE. I love all of you guys but I know you only come to see me because Buffy tells you to. With the exception of Tara and Spike you all just see me as Buffy's little sister. The key."

Xander stepped back shocked, "Wait a minute their Dawnster back this up a little. Buffy and Spike? Since when?"

"Ask her. I knew you guys would react like this. We're leaving"

Spike stood back and looked around the room. Willow was standing beside Giles, both of them surveying the situation and looking confused. Tara was on Willow's other side and was smiling slightly at him, supportive as ever. Anya was hovering lightly behind Xander, ready to pull him out of the way of Dawn's ever-hungry battleaxe. He looked down at Dawn, stuck in the middle of them all.

Dawn looked over to Willow, Tara and Giles. "I'm sorry guys. It's better if we just go."

Giles put down his mug of tea and walked over to her. She gripped the battle axe nervously but he gently pulled it out of her grasp and laid it back on the counter behind Spike. He wrapped his arms around the teen in a comforting hug. "I understand. You'll be missed, both of you. Keep in contact. Even if you don't want to come back. And if you even get into any trouble I'll always be on the end of the phone. We all will."

"Thanks Giles." Dawn detached herself from the watcher and dried her cheeks. She looked up at the blonde vampire. "We'd better go."

"Ok. After you bit." Spike looked around to ensure he wouldn't be attacked on his way out to see the sad group of teens behind him. He followed Dawn out of the door and into the DeSoto, driving off towards their new life.

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_**AN: Well again guys really sorry about the huge delay. I promise the next chapter won't take as long unless i get work piled on me. If you're lucky and if you review you can have the next chapter as a christmas present. I'm gonna warn you in advance though it is going to be a VERY dark final chapter. As always R+R. Much love xx**_


	6. You Won't Try For Me Not Now

Author: dsmith141  
Title: Missing  
Rating: M/18/R for mentions of suicide, sex and bad language  
Summary: The first little paragraph in italics is the part of the song that the chapter is based on. Anything else in italics is easily worked out you clever people. Season 6 I'm thinking post 'smashed' but before Xander's wedding. Tabula Rasa didn't happen. Willow and Tara are still together but Willow is trying to cut down on the magic use.  
Pairings: Spike/Dawn  
Disclaimer: Just the usual, Josh owns everything and I own nothing this story is written purely for the pleasure of my loved readers x.  
A/N: OK guys now this is very important. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CHARACTER DEATH. It will probably be considered very dark by many so please don't read it if it's going to upset you. For the rest of you please enjoy my little concluding chapter XD. Much love. Enjoy the irony. X

Chapter 6

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
__You won't try for me, not now.  
__Though I'd die to know you love me,  
__I'm all alone.  
__Isn't someone missing me?_

The gang stood there staring at the door. Buffy collapsed to her knees and sat back on her feet. Xander was still dumbstruck next to the counter. He remembered something Dawn had said. "Is it true? What she said about you and Spike?"

Buffy looked up at Xander, a look of depression in her eyes. Her throat was dry. "Yes"

Xander looks down at her, sheer shock in his eyes and his face an expression of pure disgust. "Why?"

Buffy shrugged, now sitting on the steps in a ball, clinging her legs to her chest. "I needed to feel. Needed to confide in someone."

"You could've came to us" His words pure acid as his voice raised slightly shocking Anya, still clinging to his arm.

Buffy felt the tone in his voice and stood, angrily walking towards him as she spoke. "Don't get all high and mighty with me Xander. You pulled me out of heaven. You can't even think of what I'm going through. Spike knows what it's like to dig your way out of a coffin! Since I came back I haven't been able to feel anything!"

"That's it? You needed to feel? So you go out and bang the first body you can find? Dead or alive?"

"Where do you get off judging me?!-"

"When this is your solution to your problems? We hurt you so, what? Is this your way of getting us back?"

"You pulled me out of heaven Xander! I was happy and you bring me back to this? Well gee thanks. My sister's left and isn't coming back because I can't adjust to the responsibility everyone keeps piling on me, my mom isn't here to support me. I just can't cope and it feels like NOONE is there for me except Spike and he's not even here any more."

"You let that evil thing touch you. I look at you – I feel sick – 'cause you slept with that. I thought we were you're friends."

Xander broke his look of contempt and, pulling away from Anya, stormed out of the door of the magic box. The others pver at Buffy who was looking up at them with a look of annoyance. "Can you believe him he-"

Willow spoke up. She was almost in tears. "Do you really think that about us? Do you think we meant to make it worse? DO YOU THINK WE WOULD'VE PULLED YOU OUT OF HEAVEN ON PURPOSE!? WE NEEDED YOU BUFFY! YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS!"

"Willow I-" Buffy stood up and started moving towards Wilow.

Giles walked forward towards her, blocking her path. "I think you should leave. We'll talk about this in the morning."

"Giles-"

"Buffy emotions are running high. It's probably best that we don't talk about this at the minute."

Buffy turned, tears now pouring freely down her face, and ran from the magic box, almost taking the door from its hinges as she wrenched it open. She turned the corner and ran home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She kicked the front door of Rovello Drive open, snapping the hinges clean from the door frame. She was sick of it all. The responsibility, the heartache, the pain, the doubt. It was all so peaceful in heaven and she wanted to go back. She'd been stripped out of there by her so called friends and her sister had abandoned her, left for good when she needed her family the most. She'd taken Spike with her. The one person Buffy had felt able to confide in was gone. Her heart was now even emptier than it had been. She'd been left with a hole in her heart. A void which Spike had filled.

She collapsed in the living room on the couch and cried. She'd refused to do it before. Refused to believe. Refused to go with what she knew to be right. She loved Spike. She'd denied herself what she knew she wanted because she knew it was wrong and now her final hope for happiness had left.

She stood, unable to take any more. She crossed the room to her weapons chest and grabbed the first thing she laid her hands on. The stake she had received from Kendra lay in her hand. She sat on the sofa beside the window allowing herself to wallow in her grief. She snapped. I one swift movement her arm flew in an arc up and then back down, plunging the stake through her breast piercing her heart. She died instantly, the final tear clinging resiliently to her eyelash blood trickling out of the wound slowly running down her stomach and pooling in her naval. In South America, in a small village in Uruguay, a new slayer was called.

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**A/N: Well that's the end of it guys. Sorry about the shortness of the chapter. I hope you enjoyed this saga. As always feedback is appreciated and if you'd like to e-mail me with a challenge I consider all ideas. Much love guys. Until next time x x**


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